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7th Heaven Was One Giant Problem Episode

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Yesterday Jezebel posted a supercut of some classic problem episodes, the kind that had a number you could call at the end, that had you, at eight, thinking pot and caffeine pills were some serious stuff. But as commenters pointed out, some teen shows, like 7th Heaven were just giant PSAs. Yet 7th Heaven, which taught millions of kids the dangers of pissing off your girlfriend’s ex, was snubbed completely. Here are some moments that prove 7th Heaven was one giant problem episode.


Alcoholism

Aunt Julie has a problem with alcohol. And kind of a weird relationship with her oldest nephew.

Guns

Apparently you talk to someone who’s holding you at gunpoint much like you would a spooked horse. I also love his look of shock at the end. You can’t shoot me, I’m Reverend Camden!

Gangs

You hide a diary under a mattress, not the contents of the prop table for Pulp Fiction. It also would have been awesome if the mother stayed in denial a little longer. No wonder Stan can’t sleep, his bed must feel so lumpy!

Cutting

I’m not an expert on self-inflicting harm, but is it normally done at someone else’s house?


Sexual Predators

Where we find out Annie is clairvoyant, and Mary knows how to say no to creepy teacher touching.

And the infamous pot episode that had me for years convinced marijuana carried identical risks to crystal meth.

Drugs

To make the anger, fear, and general disgusted tone of voice make sense, replace joint with “meth lab” or “uzi”

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