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If you’re asking, “What is Dubstep?” here’s a quick music lesson:

Dubstep is an electronic music genre that’s really big right now at music festivals, concerts, etc. I’d say it’s a child of techno (it originally emerged in the UK from a slowed-down version of the “drum and base” genre).

Got it? Okay, now here’s why we’re already over it…

7. The horrifically embarrassing t-shirts it gives way to. See above.

6. De-pressurizing in an aircraft carrier is actually more aurally pleasant than listening to Skrillex or Excision via headphones.

5. The way people move as if there are millions of little aliens inside of their body trying to escape (ED:

4. It reminds me of a certain ex-boyfriend who now attends a DJ school called the “Dubspot.”

3. It’s a genre that’s been overtaken by people who used to play Dungeons & Dragons and Magic the Gathering. Now, rather than going to guild conventions, they attend raves.

2. The fact that it literally begat the least funny statuses on my newsfeed re: the NYC earthquake. “Sorry guys about those tremors, maybe I should just turn the bass on my DUBSTEP down.

1. The fact that there is now a musical genre referred to as “post-Dubstep.”

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Some people are okay with strangers thinking they’re totally lame. I’m not. And I sometimes even feel bad for thinking other people are complete weirdos. But if I’m standing next to you on the subway and I can hear Hot Stuff blaring on your iPod, I’m going to judge you. And trust me, the judgment won’t be a good one.
So to avoid getting those awkward stares in public, just don’t–ever–listen to these songs on your iPod. K, thanks!
  1. Hot Stuff by Donna Summer.
  2. YMCA by The Village People.
  3. Macho Man by The Village People
  4. Actually, you know, anything by The Village People
  5. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor.




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