1. Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries. Because small-town guy Kris Humphries really thought it would last.

2. Mel Gibson & Robyn Moore. Mel’s ex-wife walked away with about $425 million after their divorce this year and losing that much money is nothing short of tragic.

3. Kobe & Vanessa Bryant. Speaking of millions, Kobe you’re up next. And even though it’s totally your own fault, we can still appreciate the tragedy of your loss.

4. Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher. The D-bag couldn’t wait until the day after their wedding anniversary to cheat on his wife and as result, poor Demi is literally withering away. This is the stuff of soap operas.

5. Maria Shriver & Arnold Schwarzenegger. Did you see his “mistress?” ‘Nuff said.

Yes, he cheated on you with a skank. On your anniversary. But really Demi it’s not that bad. Ashton Kutcher isn’t all that hot and if he did that to you then he’s a douche anyway.

All that being said, judging from the pic above it looks as though you’re taking the breakup pretty hard. From your jawline and neck to your stick skinny legs, you are disintegrating, girl. All over Ashton Kutcher?!? I don’t think so!

So Demi, snap out of it! Here’s your 5 step plan for powering through this divorce and coming out on top.

1. Eat a hamburger. Because you are too d*mn skinny. And it’s not cute. You want to catch another man, right? Wait, don’t answer that. Read step 2 first.

2. Date someone younger and hotter. Yes, you do want to catch another man and he has to be hotter than Ashton. Which isn’t really all that hard. Why not start with one of the cuties on this list. Ooh, or maybe the hottie Darren Criss from Glee?

3. Eat some ice cream. No really, Demi. You need to eat something. Preferably, things with lots of fat and calories. The look we are going for is not emaciated–we want curvy, sexy, womanly. K?

4. Star in a huge movie. You’ve been in Hollywood long enough. Call some of your old pals and get yourself a role that will take everyone’s attention off the fact that your young husband totally screwed a young chick on your wedding anniversary.

5. Get pregnant! Oh yeah, it’s a thing for older women to get pregnant now. Once you’ve found a new boytoy to replace Ashton, have him knock you up and then flaunt your new happy life in Ashton’s face.

See girl? You don’t need him. But you do need a cupcake–or 10–stat!

Given the whole divorce and lesbian lover affair thing, it’s not all that surprising that Jenna Lyons recently put her Park Slope, Brooklyn digs on the market.

The house is listed at $3.75 million, which means you probably can’t afford it. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get a tour of Jenna Lyons’ Park Slope home.

Behold, Jenna’s sweet pad:

Jealous? Well, don’t be. Looks like Jenna’s slacker artist estranged ex-husband is going to make all of this very nasty. She going to need a nice pad to retreat to.

Source: Curbed

Remember that whole Jenna Lyons’ lesbian love affair we alluded to earlier this week. Well, the rumor mill is swirling and it looks like jewelry exec Courtney Crangi is the woman who stole Jenna’s heart.

Courtney is the CEO of Philip Crangi jewelry, a jewelry collection designed by her brother, Philip Crangi.

Considering they are both in the fashion world, it doesn’t seem like that unlikely of a pairing. And they’re both moms, too. What a power couple!

Curious about Court’s jewelry? Check out the Philip Crangi collection here.

For most of 2011, Jenna Lyons has been on top of the world. She was on Oprah. She got a sweet promotion. Michelle Obama was like J. Crew’s unofficial spokesmodel. She even painted her son’s toenails pink and people actually defended her. Everything was gravy.

But it looks like something else was brewing while Jenna was enjoying her success. Not only are her and her husband of 9 years divorcing, but apparently Jenna is also shacking up with a lesbian lover. Drama!

As if the lesbian lover part weren’t dramatic enough, there’s also the custody of the couple’s son, Beckett, to deal with and the whole who gets what issue.

Seems like a sad situation for everyone involved–except maybe for the unnamed lover–and totally shocking. Are you surprised to hear about Jenna Lyons’ divorce? What about the lesbian lover??