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So yeah, it’s official. Snooki is totally knocked up. I mean, Snooki is pregnant.

You could read all about it in this week’s issue of Us Weekly, or you could save your $5 and get caught up here. Here’s what you need to know:

1. She’s apparently traded partying for, well, Pampers. That’s a quote.

2. She’s craving olives and gelato. She already ate pickles all the time.

3. She will not be living in the Jersey Shore house while pregnant. But she will go visit.

4. All of her Jersey Shore castmates are allowed to babysit… except The Situation.

5. If she has a boy, he will be named Jionni Jr. Not something crazy like, Blanket. Or Lamp.

6. If she has a girl, she’ll be pretty, popular and wear animal print.

This. Is. Gonna. Be. Fun!

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Yes, the Duggars. They’re having another baby. This makes baby #20.

Forgive me if I sound less than congratulatory. I generally tend to think children make life more fulfilling and enjoyable, but that stops at around, oh say, 6. Maybe, maybe you’re still having fun with 8. But 20 friggin’ kids? As a mom it sounds like pure, unadulterated torture.

I’m guessing the Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar are religious and they’re taking that whole “be fruitful and multiply to heart,” but enough is enough people. How do you even remember everyone’s name? How are there enough hours in the day to ensure every child feels loved and cared for?

I’m sure they are wonderful parents–they keep cranking ’em out, after all. But isn’t there something so alarming about a woman who gave birth 20 times?!

#couldntpayme

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